Here's a cover of Sam Cooke's "Bring it on Home to Me".. Such a great song!
[in-vurs] [van-dl-iz-uhm]
Inverse Vandalism - noun: Creating something for no other reason than the sheer fact that you can create it.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
An Online Dating Profile...
Word on the street is that most dudes take online dating too seriously. Here's what mine says.... Obviously, I take this dating site very seriously...
I am a single male hominid seeking a female to inspire me to be smarter, funnier, and more successful than I already am. Anyways, all these views and winks... C'mon ladies. Y'all are crazy. Is winking still even a thing in real life? I think that stopped being effective in the 80's... Now it's just plain funny. Just send me a message with your favorite cheesy pick up line you've heard from other dudes on this site. I hear it's a laugh riot.
About me:
So.... I was raised in a Cretaceous-like swamp outside of Baton Rouge in a small village of serfs. My emaciated family lived in a 120 year old house. We had chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats and they swirled gleefully around our barn. Animals are cunning, beautiful, and deliciously wicked. I have a red Australian Shepherd and she can catch a wild pig in mid-air. Anyways, I spent my childhood there, running through the swamp at break-neck speeds and weaving through the dense foliage like a savage wraith. It was there that I honed my impressive agility and set up booby traps for unsuspecting foes who slurked through the foreboding forest. (Slurk is a word I made up to define a person who slinks while lurking.) I eventually ate my family and became alpha male in the village until I was politely asked to leave by the local authorities.
All of that was kinda true. I hope you enjoy reading, by the way. Did you enjoy that fairy tale?
Anyways, I lived in New Orleans for a few years and I moved back to Austin a year and half ago to start a new business. I haven't looked up from that until now. So, I just made a vow to try at least two new places to eat and hang out every weekend until I can't find any more places. I'd like someone to join me for fun times, people watching, etc. I enjoy dive bars but also like dressing up to impress you and going to museums, plays, operas, etc. I'm cultured, dammit!
I have a beautiful red Australian Shepherd and she's by my side always.
She can catch a 50 yard frisbee pass like it's nothing.
I bring her almost everywhere I go, so that's kind of a thing.
Prepare thyself for the massive influx of cuteness as it engulfs your soul!
I cook every day. Do you bake? If you just said yes, then I am already on my way to kidnap you.
Furthermore:
I make my bed every day like a big boy.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week but I'm no muscle head.
I love stand up comedy, chocolate and peanut butter, and NFL football.
I have a few tattoos. None on my pretty face or legs though.
I started a company specializing in decorative concrete last year, so I make money and get to be creative. Congratulate me now.
I also write songs, play guitar, create art out of junk, and rebuild bicycles in my spare time.
I always have to have a project. I am handy and productive. Put me to work.
About You:
You should appreciate the outdoors. I want someone who wouldn't mind living in the jungle for a couple of weeks to learn how to shrink heads. You should have a really good sense of humor, as I don't. I'm very serious all of the time. If you're crazy, jealous, constantly depressed, never planning on actually meeting in person, or a fem-bot, then apparently, I'm your man.
I'd like something simple and low stress. Just a quick meet up at first. Actual "First Dates" are stressful and demanding. So, meeting at Butler Park or Auditorium Shores would be cool. Then, putt-putting, bowling, stand-up comedy, pool, or maybe just coffee and crossword puzzles. Getting drunk pre-meetup would not be advisable, unless we both agreed to do so. Should I even have to say this? Anyways... Let's swap spit in a canoe, camp out under I-10 with the bums, and busk for change on Red River.
Pop Quiz!
Why do you want to to contact me and go on a date?
a.) I'm freakin' hilarious.
b.) I've got a sparkling personality and rugged good looks.
c.) I remind you nothing of your ex.
d.) All of the above
Looking Forward to your Response,
Dillon
I am a single male hominid seeking a female to inspire me to be smarter, funnier, and more successful than I already am. Anyways, all these views and winks... C'mon ladies. Y'all are crazy. Is winking still even a thing in real life? I think that stopped being effective in the 80's... Now it's just plain funny. Just send me a message with your favorite cheesy pick up line you've heard from other dudes on this site. I hear it's a laugh riot.
About me:
So.... I was raised in a Cretaceous-like swamp outside of Baton Rouge in a small village of serfs. My emaciated family lived in a 120 year old house. We had chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats and they swirled gleefully around our barn. Animals are cunning, beautiful, and deliciously wicked. I have a red Australian Shepherd and she can catch a wild pig in mid-air. Anyways, I spent my childhood there, running through the swamp at break-neck speeds and weaving through the dense foliage like a savage wraith. It was there that I honed my impressive agility and set up booby traps for unsuspecting foes who slurked through the foreboding forest. (Slurk is a word I made up to define a person who slinks while lurking.) I eventually ate my family and became alpha male in the village until I was politely asked to leave by the local authorities.
All of that was kinda true. I hope you enjoy reading, by the way. Did you enjoy that fairy tale?
Anyways, I lived in New Orleans for a few years and I moved back to Austin a year and half ago to start a new business. I haven't looked up from that until now. So, I just made a vow to try at least two new places to eat and hang out every weekend until I can't find any more places. I'd like someone to join me for fun times, people watching, etc. I enjoy dive bars but also like dressing up to impress you and going to museums, plays, operas, etc. I'm cultured, dammit!
I have a beautiful red Australian Shepherd and she's by my side always.
She can catch a 50 yard frisbee pass like it's nothing.
I bring her almost everywhere I go, so that's kind of a thing.
Prepare thyself for the massive influx of cuteness as it engulfs your soul!
I cook every day. Do you bake? If you just said yes, then I am already on my way to kidnap you.
Furthermore:
I make my bed every day like a big boy.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week but I'm no muscle head.
I love stand up comedy, chocolate and peanut butter, and NFL football.
I have a few tattoos. None on my pretty face or legs though.
I started a company specializing in decorative concrete last year, so I make money and get to be creative. Congratulate me now.
I also write songs, play guitar, create art out of junk, and rebuild bicycles in my spare time.
I always have to have a project. I am handy and productive. Put me to work.
About You:
You should appreciate the outdoors. I want someone who wouldn't mind living in the jungle for a couple of weeks to learn how to shrink heads. You should have a really good sense of humor, as I don't. I'm very serious all of the time. If you're crazy, jealous, constantly depressed, never planning on actually meeting in person, or a fem-bot, then apparently, I'm your man.
I'd like something simple and low stress. Just a quick meet up at first. Actual "First Dates" are stressful and demanding. So, meeting at Butler Park or Auditorium Shores would be cool. Then, putt-putting, bowling, stand-up comedy, pool, or maybe just coffee and crossword puzzles. Getting drunk pre-meetup would not be advisable, unless we both agreed to do so. Should I even have to say this? Anyways... Let's swap spit in a canoe, camp out under I-10 with the bums, and busk for change on Red River.
Pop Quiz!
Why do you want to to contact me and go on a date?
a.) I'm freakin' hilarious.
b.) I've got a sparkling personality and rugged good looks.
c.) I remind you nothing of your ex.
d.) All of the above
Looking Forward to your Response,
Dillon
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)