Here's a cover of Sam Cooke's "Bring it on Home to Me".. Such a great song!
[in-vurs] [van-dl-iz-uhm]
Inverse Vandalism - noun: Creating something for no other reason than the sheer fact that you can create it.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
An Online Dating Profile...
Word on the street is that most dudes take online dating too seriously. Here's what mine says.... Obviously, I take this dating site very seriously...
I am a single male hominid seeking a female to inspire me to be smarter, funnier, and more successful than I already am. Anyways, all these views and winks... C'mon ladies. Y'all are crazy. Is winking still even a thing in real life? I think that stopped being effective in the 80's... Now it's just plain funny. Just send me a message with your favorite cheesy pick up line you've heard from other dudes on this site. I hear it's a laugh riot.
About me:
So.... I was raised in a Cretaceous-like swamp outside of Baton Rouge in a small village of serfs. My emaciated family lived in a 120 year old house. We had chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats and they swirled gleefully around our barn. Animals are cunning, beautiful, and deliciously wicked. I have a red Australian Shepherd and she can catch a wild pig in mid-air. Anyways, I spent my childhood there, running through the swamp at break-neck speeds and weaving through the dense foliage like a savage wraith. It was there that I honed my impressive agility and set up booby traps for unsuspecting foes who slurked through the foreboding forest. (Slurk is a word I made up to define a person who slinks while lurking.) I eventually ate my family and became alpha male in the village until I was politely asked to leave by the local authorities.
All of that was kinda true. I hope you enjoy reading, by the way. Did you enjoy that fairy tale?
Anyways, I lived in New Orleans for a few years and I moved back to Austin a year and half ago to start a new business. I haven't looked up from that until now. So, I just made a vow to try at least two new places to eat and hang out every weekend until I can't find any more places. I'd like someone to join me for fun times, people watching, etc. I enjoy dive bars but also like dressing up to impress you and going to museums, plays, operas, etc. I'm cultured, dammit!
I have a beautiful red Australian Shepherd and she's by my side always.
She can catch a 50 yard frisbee pass like it's nothing.
I bring her almost everywhere I go, so that's kind of a thing.
Prepare thyself for the massive influx of cuteness as it engulfs your soul!
I cook every day. Do you bake? If you just said yes, then I am already on my way to kidnap you.
Furthermore:
I make my bed every day like a big boy.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week but I'm no muscle head.
I love stand up comedy, chocolate and peanut butter, and NFL football.
I have a few tattoos. None on my pretty face or legs though.
I started a company specializing in decorative concrete last year, so I make money and get to be creative. Congratulate me now.
I also write songs, play guitar, create art out of junk, and rebuild bicycles in my spare time.
I always have to have a project. I am handy and productive. Put me to work.
About You:
You should appreciate the outdoors. I want someone who wouldn't mind living in the jungle for a couple of weeks to learn how to shrink heads. You should have a really good sense of humor, as I don't. I'm very serious all of the time. If you're crazy, jealous, constantly depressed, never planning on actually meeting in person, or a fem-bot, then apparently, I'm your man.
I'd like something simple and low stress. Just a quick meet up at first. Actual "First Dates" are stressful and demanding. So, meeting at Butler Park or Auditorium Shores would be cool. Then, putt-putting, bowling, stand-up comedy, pool, or maybe just coffee and crossword puzzles. Getting drunk pre-meetup would not be advisable, unless we both agreed to do so. Should I even have to say this? Anyways... Let's swap spit in a canoe, camp out under I-10 with the bums, and busk for change on Red River.
Pop Quiz!
Why do you want to to contact me and go on a date?
a.) I'm freakin' hilarious.
b.) I've got a sparkling personality and rugged good looks.
c.) I remind you nothing of your ex.
d.) All of the above
Looking Forward to your Response,
Dillon
I am a single male hominid seeking a female to inspire me to be smarter, funnier, and more successful than I already am. Anyways, all these views and winks... C'mon ladies. Y'all are crazy. Is winking still even a thing in real life? I think that stopped being effective in the 80's... Now it's just plain funny. Just send me a message with your favorite cheesy pick up line you've heard from other dudes on this site. I hear it's a laugh riot.
About me:
So.... I was raised in a Cretaceous-like swamp outside of Baton Rouge in a small village of serfs. My emaciated family lived in a 120 year old house. We had chickens, ducks, dogs, and cats and they swirled gleefully around our barn. Animals are cunning, beautiful, and deliciously wicked. I have a red Australian Shepherd and she can catch a wild pig in mid-air. Anyways, I spent my childhood there, running through the swamp at break-neck speeds and weaving through the dense foliage like a savage wraith. It was there that I honed my impressive agility and set up booby traps for unsuspecting foes who slurked through the foreboding forest. (Slurk is a word I made up to define a person who slinks while lurking.) I eventually ate my family and became alpha male in the village until I was politely asked to leave by the local authorities.
All of that was kinda true. I hope you enjoy reading, by the way. Did you enjoy that fairy tale?
Anyways, I lived in New Orleans for a few years and I moved back to Austin a year and half ago to start a new business. I haven't looked up from that until now. So, I just made a vow to try at least two new places to eat and hang out every weekend until I can't find any more places. I'd like someone to join me for fun times, people watching, etc. I enjoy dive bars but also like dressing up to impress you and going to museums, plays, operas, etc. I'm cultured, dammit!
I have a beautiful red Australian Shepherd and she's by my side always.
She can catch a 50 yard frisbee pass like it's nothing.
I bring her almost everywhere I go, so that's kind of a thing.
Prepare thyself for the massive influx of cuteness as it engulfs your soul!
I cook every day. Do you bake? If you just said yes, then I am already on my way to kidnap you.
Furthermore:
I make my bed every day like a big boy.
I go to the gym 2-3 times a week but I'm no muscle head.
I love stand up comedy, chocolate and peanut butter, and NFL football.
I have a few tattoos. None on my pretty face or legs though.
I started a company specializing in decorative concrete last year, so I make money and get to be creative. Congratulate me now.
I also write songs, play guitar, create art out of junk, and rebuild bicycles in my spare time.
I always have to have a project. I am handy and productive. Put me to work.
About You:
You should appreciate the outdoors. I want someone who wouldn't mind living in the jungle for a couple of weeks to learn how to shrink heads. You should have a really good sense of humor, as I don't. I'm very serious all of the time. If you're crazy, jealous, constantly depressed, never planning on actually meeting in person, or a fem-bot, then apparently, I'm your man.
I'd like something simple and low stress. Just a quick meet up at first. Actual "First Dates" are stressful and demanding. So, meeting at Butler Park or Auditorium Shores would be cool. Then, putt-putting, bowling, stand-up comedy, pool, or maybe just coffee and crossword puzzles. Getting drunk pre-meetup would not be advisable, unless we both agreed to do so. Should I even have to say this? Anyways... Let's swap spit in a canoe, camp out under I-10 with the bums, and busk for change on Red River.
Pop Quiz!
Why do you want to to contact me and go on a date?
a.) I'm freakin' hilarious.
b.) I've got a sparkling personality and rugged good looks.
c.) I remind you nothing of your ex.
d.) All of the above
Looking Forward to your Response,
Dillon
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
From the Banks of Lake Ponchartrain
"A mighty pain to love it is, And 'tis a pain that pain to miss; But of all pains, the greatest pain It is to love, but love in vain." - Catullus
"Days like today bring me down a notch. For the life of me, I can’t understand why the most beautiful days turn me into a stoic. Maybe I feel like I don’t deserve them. An overwhelming sense of melancholy has my stomach turning as I sit in the sand on the edge of Lake Ponchartrain this evening. It feels a little like love and a little like loathing. I remember when her waters were so inviting, you’d go in wearing your clothes. You’d wade out into the sunset to just where your eyes were above the placid surface. That moment, heaven and earth were connected. Fish leaped from her golden surface, and birds plunged into her bosom, trading hobbies on the finest of days. I swam out to meet her once, and cradled her in my arms like a newborn. She was weightless, and for a moment, time stopped. We danced then, slowly twisting with the current. I was never one to dive in head first, until that day. Months later I sit here, staring at a toxic surface of beautiful memories in the cove we shared, and I feel like I’m sitting in a great big lost and found. For one minute, I was found, inspected and returned. I guess I was missing some pieces. My feet are in the sand though. Only my head is in the clouds. Various species of sea birds are flying in for winter. They've taken up perches all around me on remnants of an old pier. An elegant bird stretches his wings to dry in the sun, and I smile. I'll never get back to that sacred moment, but I can take it with me. Lives are meant to cross from time to time in this crazy experiment, and one must always be ready to embrace the diamond, hold it to the light, scream with joy, then throw it back. These moments add up to guide and strengthen our quests. Soon, I'll be ready to dry my wings in the sun on the banks of our Ponchartrain. And I will fly with the best of them." - Dillon Roberts, Monday, 26. December 2005, 17:01:20
Gratitude
I wrote this song about a year ago during a rough time. I think that by giving thanks for everything we have on this Earth, we allow the Universe to bestow more blessings upon us. It's not easy sometimes, but the reason things get tough is because we're focusing on the negative aspects of the events leading up to the turmoil, which leads to more strife. I also believe this "Catch 22" was the reason religion was started. Without something to have faith in, we have nothing to look forward to in life. The looking forward is hope. To unlock the happiness provided by both, we must first give thanks for what we have. The key is Gratitude. The Universe is giving us everything we need. We need only to accept it with thanks. The Universe serves not the ungrateful. Peace.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
My Beloved Puppy
Back in July, I decided to get a puppy dog. The majority of my friends in Austin have dogs and I guess I felt left out. They would meet at dog parks and take 'em running along the Greenbelt. Also, I hadn't had a girlfriend in a while, so I was a bit lonely. We went to the Town Lake Animal Shelter and perused over all of the sad little puppies. What a difficult choice to make. But my heart melted when I met her. We brought her to the meeting cage to give her a test run and she leaped into my arms like a little monkey. They hadn't bathed her in little while it seemed, as she smelled like garbage. So, the name "Garbage Monkey" was thrown around. I finally decided on "Dumpsta Munkee" because it's got more of an urban feel to it. Ha! I mean, we do live in a city and she does like to dig through the garbage can at the house. I finally had to buy one with a locking lid...
As you can see, there are claw marks all over one side of it. She tried that one time, figured I beat her, and never did it again. She's a smart one. She learned sit, lay down, was potty trained, and could open cracked doors within the first week of owning her. Now, she's up to catching soccer balls and frisbees in mid-air. She's a year and half now, and I love her. I'll never own anything but Australian Shepherds for the rest of my life.
Well, here she is. My best friend. Peace.
 |
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Hey. Well, I tried, but my creative juices have been evaporating and I feel like I live about ten feet deep beneath the surface of the Dead Sea. I started listening to some older music I have on my Computer. Currently, I'm listening to the Gravediggaz, an offshoot of the Wu Tang Clan. Good Stuff.
Paper Mache' I'm good at. Creating out of nothing.
Give me nothing, and I love it.
Give me too much, and I'll know not what to do,
unless the mass of writhing objects before me
have nothing to with each other.
Since I've moved to Austin, I've been happier. I just wanna meet someone who will be my partner in crime.
It's definitely different than New Orleans...
In New Orleans, since The Federal Levee Failure, people haven't been the same. Walls and decrepit bridges were hastily erected to block pain and play off the fact that things would never be the same. Long time friends disbanded for "personal reasons" and never returned to their lifelong confidants. Since then, everyone has pretended to be full of joy. But, post traumatic stress is much like a bruise, or cancer, on a much larger scale.
When a large population is hit with a catastrophe, it not only effects individuals, but the culture at large.
There has been a dark cloud over New Orleans now for years now and I don't think the hardy denizens of "The City Care Forgot" realize it, because there's no one from the outside reminding them. We can't see ourselves. But everyone who comes into town is shown a great time through our perseverance, ignorance/bliss, and general disregard of our feelings.
This speaks to the resilience of the NOLA tribe, but it can be a depressing place. Once again, I'm happy to be here, although it's bittersweet....
Paper Mache' I'm good at. Creating out of nothing.
Give me nothing, and I love it.
Give me too much, and I'll know not what to do,
unless the mass of writhing objects before me
have nothing to with each other.
Since I've moved to Austin, I've been happier. I just wanna meet someone who will be my partner in crime.
It's definitely different than New Orleans...
In New Orleans, since The Federal Levee Failure, people haven't been the same. Walls and decrepit bridges were hastily erected to block pain and play off the fact that things would never be the same. Long time friends disbanded for "personal reasons" and never returned to their lifelong confidants. Since then, everyone has pretended to be full of joy. But, post traumatic stress is much like a bruise, or cancer, on a much larger scale.
When a large population is hit with a catastrophe, it not only effects individuals, but the culture at large.
There has been a dark cloud over New Orleans now for years now and I don't think the hardy denizens of "The City Care Forgot" realize it, because there's no one from the outside reminding them. We can't see ourselves. But everyone who comes into town is shown a great time through our perseverance, ignorance/bliss, and general disregard of our feelings.
This speaks to the resilience of the NOLA tribe, but it can be a depressing place. Once again, I'm happy to be here, although it's bittersweet....
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Loggin' In
So, I finally made the jump from my old blog to this one, yet I hadn't whipped up a thought to put here for months. Since starting a small business, my creative mind has crawled back into the depths of my skull and ceased to exist so I'm hoping that forcing myself to do this will jog my memories of things that have occurred since that fateful day and allow me to describe them eloquently and with wit. Alas, it's 12:12 and I've got to get up early. I'll try again tomorrow...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
[in-vurs] [van-dl-iz-uhm]
Inverse Vandalism - n. Creating something for no other reason than the sheer fact that you can create it.
The creation of the universe was an act of inverse vandalism, and so is this blog.
Welcome.
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